Here I sit in Mom's Hospice room for the fifth day. Let me take you back to last Sunday. Last Sunday, we got a call that we needed to come immediately, and to contact all family members. I had just been with Mom over the weekend, as did my sister and nieces. She wasn't doing real well, but all of her stats were good. Over the phone came the sweet voice of Mom's nurse saying words that I never wanted to hear, "Honey, your mother is not doing well at all. She has given up and wants to let go." This was particularly hard because we had been receiving good reports and making arrangements for her to enter a hospital to wean her from the ventilator.
Mom had been fighting the trach, and didn't want it in anymore. All night, she tried to rip it from her throat. As it breathed for her, she fought it by trying to breath herself, and became panicked. Once the family was together, we met with the doctors. She was bleeding internally and there was nothing they could do. They had tried giving her blood but they couldn't keep up with the bleeding. The hardest task would come that night, when we returned home to our Daddy to give him this news. Our pastor and his wife came over our house, to be with us while my sister and I, with our husbands, broke this news to our Daddy. Heartbreaking!!!
Mom has had numerous surgeries and illnesses over the years, and always fought through it! We knew this was bad, but we had hope she would make it just like she always did. Unfortunately, this is too grave an issue, so we have been sent to Hospice care which is also within this hospital. Everyone has been so wonderful to us. We could not ask for better care here than we have gotten. Mom's doctors have been on top of everything! They have been a blessing.
It's hard sitting here, waiting for her to pass, but we know she will be with the Lord soon. Mom hasn't been able to talk since the trach, but before they heavily sedated her, she could communicate by motions and mouthing words. Now with the heavy sedation, we haven't been able to communicate with her.
However, on our second day in Hospice, God gave me the most special gift. My mom was awake off and on that day and motioned about pain often. During the afternoon, I was able to have some alone time with her. She had her eyes open but she wasn't in pain at this time. Even though she couldn't talk, we had the BEST conversation EVER! We talked about how she would be walking with Jesus soon, pain free forever! I told her that because she taught my sister and me about Jesus, we had accepted Him, and we had married men who know and love Jesus, and we have taught our children and they have accepted Jesus. Everytime I would say something like, "Won't that be wonderful to be together in Heaven!" she gave a happy gasp as she had eye contact with me. Tears streamed down her face, and she tried her best to smile. Oh what a special gift HE has given me. I will hold that moment close to my heart and cherish it forever!
Please continue to pray for us for the difficult days ahead, as we say good-bye to our precious Mother/Grandmother, and my Daddy lets go of his loving wife of 58 years.
Be sure to hug your loved ones and let them know how much you love them. Cherish each precious moment God gives you with them.
Love and Blessings,